one|twenty|two

one|twenty|two

a little late in the week, but here we go :)


^ 13 Comments of Confabulation...

  1. Deanna says:

    Ahhh…. the package is SO close!!! So glad you put up 2!

  2. BenNy says:

    2nd comment!
    i feel good

    love the build up!

  3. Jaya Lakshmi says:

    Now everything comes together . . . I hope that Nadia gets the package in time.

  4. CLASSIFIED says:

    Very intense. A bit confused about the dialogue, and I’ve forgotten what the “package” is/has inside/is need for.

    • Ramón says:

      thanks for the kudos ‘classified’ :)

      allusions to the packages contents were first came to light here:

      http://www.kukuburi.com/v2/2007/10/15/twentyfive/

      as for the confusing nature of the dialogue, this is input i like to hear as i consider the audience my editor. giving me feedback to see if my ideas are being conveyed clearly enough. as i present kukuburi online i oft see it as a beta version. before going to print with volume one i will be doing massive edits to clean up dialogue, plot elements and storytelling.

      all input is good.

  5. Geoff Blizard says:

    As it’s written right now (in my opinion, at least), it sounds like our beloved Skeletal Antagonist isn’t actually this HIM that we keep hearing about, but HIS envoy. Is that right?

    • Ramón says:

      now that IS an interesting observation…

    • Andreas says:

      @Geoff Blizard: Agree. Feels a tiny little bit like Dark Tower and Stephen King. Walter/Randall Flagg is the Crimson King’s envoy and tries to hunt Roland and his group down to prevent them to get to the Dark Tower. Now, change Walter/Randall with Skinny Pete, Crimson King with HIM, Roland with Nadia and the Dark Tower to the end of her dreams.

      Prefer Nadia though. She is way cuter and her dreams are way more “graphical” :-D

      • Soraya says:

        Being the kind of Dark Tower geek who bawls her eyes out at the end of the eponymous last book, every time without fail, I love the mention. And I do see it. I wouldn’t compare them. How can you not adore Roland? And how can you compare him to Nadia? Apart from your comparison, there’s no need to draw parallels… they’re both enjoyable, and both very different in their own right.

        I guess it was always kind of obvious that our skeletal friend wasn’t the big bad guy. Seriously… what kind of evil superpower reveals itself right at the beginning?

  6. Dustin says:

    Hey Ramon,
    Great work, it’s so wonderful to witness a work of art in progress; it’s almost as if I’m watching one of my favorite bands practice putting a new song/set list together. I’ll tip my hat to your greatness; however, I just felt like pointing out that two text bubbles on this page made me do a double take in the not so good way. Then I took a look at the two pages of 122&3 as a whole…

    So, here it is:
    Second panel, second speech bubble: Nadia’s question didn’t feel like a response that was connected to Lenny’s statement.
    Fourth panel, third speech bubble: “Huh?” this panel broke the flow of the entire story line from the other 120 pages and, I had to re-read not because I wanted to but because, I felt out of the loop. You overplayed your hand in Lenny’s allusion to other foes so much so, that it could even distract Nadia and make her response on page 123 seem unlikely.
    Of course, this is all Lenny’s fault; almost all the weight of this scene could be shouldered by dialog, but this page layout would still leave me barking mad. Is it two splash pages squeezed out by two jump cuts, or is it moving shot, jump cut to a moving shot, followed by three jump cuts, or is it a two page spread that moves across the top to a jump then jumps and jumps? I only see two characters moving (Reggie and the Skull Man) yet, the splash page misnomer steals from their importance and, it feels like unneeded eye candy that draws away from the eye path of the speech bubbles.

    Flat out, you should most definitely re-script and re-draw these two pages; otherwise, you may not see a return on the investment needed to get Kukuburi printed.
    <<>> -_-

    Seriously, please don’t hate me; Kukuburi has a wealth of brilliance and imagination that only you could bring out and, I would be so happy to see a completely different and completely better version of this scene. I hope you appreciate my thoughts on this, and thank you so much for your awesomeness.
    Sincerely,
    Dustin

    • Ramón says:

      thanks for your input dustin.

      as i’ve alluded to in the past, the online version that everyone is reading is a beta-version of sorts and will be tweaked and edited before going to print. new pages will be added, dialogue retooled. sequences re-paced and so forth.

      i noodle with dialogue constantly. the above sequence never sat perfectly right and will probably be expanded upon when the time comes. as for reading order, it’s always page by page, unless a panel physically crosses the gutter. none of these panels crossed the gutter and were posted as separate pages, so they should be read individually.

      as for the visual layout. kukuburi is a place for me to play and experiment. i like to see what i can achieve within the panels as they are so defined. sometimes i pass, sometimes i fail… but at least i’m having fun along the way :)

      thanks again dustin. your input is greatly appreciated.

  7. Love the comic the more I read. Looking forward to the hard copy someday.

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